I dreamed I got shot in the back of the head last night and blood started coughing its way out of my mouth and nose and I choked and crawled my way to P and she held me as I died. It was breathtaking. I felt everything so vividly. The finger on the trigger, the explosion ripping apart the curvature of my skull, the intense rising feeling of leaving my body and fighting to move my limbs just enough to reach some comfort as I took my last breaths.
On another note, my great uncle died last night after a week of not eating. He breathed in deeply, let out lightly, and was gone.
Reality is skewing and I’m still waking in the same body, but far from the same consciousness. I will not question the path. Just follow it.
10
If freedom is beauty then I’ve found it in your eyes- the way they fondly rest on mine when the words I speak settle on your heart. I can sense your sincerity and mischievous folly. It’s driving my soul toward rip currents and I’m thrown into the depths to be raised back up into the air; my lungs are filled with water and I’m choking and laughing at the insane swiftness of it all. One day is different than the next. My soul yearns for you. It sees potential in ours together. Growth, learning, affection on levels the world is starved of. Let me in. I’ll cozy up a spot in your heart that you can take with you wherever you go. Whether physically here, I’ll be mentally there, a light mist on your skin to bring you comfort and security. You are beauty. I am beauty. Let me in.
